Florida Fisherman Tortures Pregnant Shark as Lazy sunbathers Take Pictures

Humans do the funniest things. They also do some of the most sadistic too. 

Take for example the case of ‘Freddy’ the Florida fisherman who thought it would be a right old toot to drag a pregnant Hammerhead shark onto a packed Panama City  beach heaving with gangs of bright orange sun worshippers before proceeding to systematically torture it as the gathered sand zombies take pictures and videos on their smartphones. 

To make matters worse, the poor shark is so traumatized by being forcibly dragged out of natural habitat by a merciless meat-head, she starts thrashing around in the shallow water and gives birth on the water’s edge. 

There’s a video of the aforesaid incident on the Daily Mail website, and even though it’s evident that after ‘Freddy’ the fearless shark slayer has dragged the poor Hammerhead onto the beach, and she’s frantically trying to escape back into the ocean at every opportunity, the newspaper reporter in question actually writes in a damning display of vacuous verbosity,  “Despite repeated attempts to guide the hammerhead back into deeper water, she kept swimming towards the shore.”

No! She doesn’t! Every time she makes an attempt to return to the safety of the ocean, old fearsome ‘Freddy’ drags her back before holding her head in the sand and slinging her pups around like used condoms. 

In a masterful display of diligent reporting the Mail’s news-hound then states in the the second sentence, “Local resident Kathy Hunt, who was watching on the beach, told local station News 13 that the shark seemed to be 'looking for a way out and was thrashing around the closer it got to the shoreline.”

Now isn’t that a contradiction in terms? 

The simple fact is anyone with half a brain (And granted,  long term exposure to the Daily Mail can invoke similar effects to that of a full-frontal lobotomy) would pick up on having once watched the video that the shark is dragged to the beach and kept there against her will. Which is particularly cruel as sharks need to actually move through water to breathe and holding the shark down on the water’s edge is akin to dragging a human beneath the water’s surface and keeping them there. 

It’s no surprise to learn that the shark later died. 

Ain’t life a beach!