Cameron and Glegg Divvy up Dead Nurse’s Savings

If ever you needed a perfect example of the morally bankrupt, nauseatingly underhanded, and shockingly corrupt values which our hollow-eyed and grasping politicians uphold with an impressive vigour and tenacity, then here it is.

When nurse Joan Edwards died she surprisingly bequeathed a sum of money to, “Whichever government is in office... to use as they may think fit."

No doubt, here was a kind-hearted lady who trusted her Government to do the right thing with her money, which incidentally was a whopping £520,000, not bad for a midwife’s wage hey? 

Although somewhat naive to trust any government with her cash, especially one helmed by David tweedledee and Nick tweedledum, the good woman was probably an old-fashioned sort who believed that the ‘great and the noble’  would know how best to maximise the potential of such a large sum of cash for the greater good and help those truly in need. 

After all in an age of soaring unemployment, homelessness, poverty and disease, where communities lie in tatters and hospital and schools are struggling to find the necessary resources just to survive, it’s not if there isn’t a shortage of things that couldn’t benefit from a bob or two is there? 

So after an intense flurry of brainstorming and heated debate, what did the Tories and the Lib Dems decide to do with 90-year-old Joan’s life-savings that she selflessly left to the nation? Why! The millionaire mongrels divvied it up as a party donation, with Glegg’s gang getting £99.423 and the Tories hitting the big time and bagging a lovely £420,576 to spend on their second homes. 

Now repeat after three, “WE’RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER.” 

Oh yes we are!

Dear God! These vile suited and booted cut-throat greed-heads give pond life a bad name.

What’s more the money was divided up according to the number of MPs and ministers of each party. Obviously there’s a lot of fat felines in Westminister today, and no doubt each porky pig wants their slice of the pie. 

Joan’s staggering bequest dwarfs the donations usually given by City financiers and other big money donors to secure themselves an honour and help keep the Tories and the Lib Dems in a state of craven indulgence. But let’s be honest its not as if the MPs are short of the necessary readies to finance the  electioneering mind-control campaign they expose us to every once in a blue moon is it? I mean, take a stroll through the House of Commons and around every corner you’ll bump into yet another multi-millionaire who serves the people by getting incredibly rich on the graft of others. So why wouldn’t these pompous vermin seek to exploit and violate a poor pensioner’s dying wish and make themselves even richer? 

Unfortunately for the coffers of each hard-pressed and impoverished party, criticism from Labour and ‘some’ Tory MPs have seen both parties backtrack quicker than you can say “PR disaster” and they have now returned the money to the Treasury. 

What will become of Joan’s cash now is anyone’s guess? But the word on the streets is that poor old Prince Charles is struggling of late to make ends meet!