Clowns: The Shocking Truth!

From serial killer John Wayne Gacy to Stephen King's child-eating Pennywise, clowns are often associated with evil and our never more larger than life than in the act of taking it, but what really lies behind the painted smile and makes clowns so scary? 

Down here we all float! 

To some, clowns are dysfunctional, giggling, white-faced half-wits in ill-fitting clothes and red rubber noses; to others clowns are cheeky and endearing, clumsy buffoons who act out the tragic comedy of the human condition. Yet in recent years, members of the public, in growing numbers, have begun to associate these supposed ‘figures of fun’ with the stuff nightmares are made off. No matter if you love them or loathe them, the grease-painted ones are figures of much interest and intrigue, and have waddled their way through the crazy mirrored halls of history to spread their fluorescent and fierce shadow over everyone’s childhood.

That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore - a Short History of Clowning Around

Glam! Wham! No thank-you man!

Although many feel the loathsome clown always outstays his welcome in any given situation, these prancing psychedelic posers have been with us for a long, long time. The Whiteface is the ‘mother’ of all modern-day clowns and as his name suggests he used white makeup to cover his face. This type of clown was perhaps the inspiration for legendary hard-rockers Kiss, who also liked a good joke, were obsessed with make-up and garnered bizarre reactions from the youth of their time, especially when you consider all four members of Kiss were burly, hairy men with a disturbing penchant for spandex and heels. 

Ronald McDonald is also a famous whiteface clown and is particularly disturbing due to his peculiar habit of offering children a vast array of toxic enticements to draw them into his multicolored and garish lair.

During the second half of the 19th century, Auguste clowns, with their bulbous noses, horrendous wigs, and ill-fitting clothes, were all the rage, but as the years went on, they fell flat on their face -- over and over again

Further back through the mists of time, we have the prototype of the clown -- the court jester. This uniquely flamboyant and strange figure who stalked the royal courts like a merry prankster was the only one allowed to openly speak out against the ruler's ideas, and through humor, affect policy. One of the most famous of the European court jesters was Nasir Ed Din. A famous story recounts how one day his king glimpsed himself in a mirror and, mortally wounded by the ravages of age staring back at him, began to cry. Being a naturally sycophantic lot, the court decided to cry in unison with their monarch. When his tears ran dry, so did theirs, except those of Nasir Ed Din. When the king asked Nasir why he was still crying, he replied, “Sire you looked at yourself in the mirror but for a moment and you cried. I have to look at you all the time.” Boom! Boom!

Coulrophobia -- The Fear of the Clown

There is even a very rare ailment called coulrophobia whose sufferers are consumed by an all-paralyzing fear when they are quite literally bushwhacked by the bravado and bluster of the intrusive clown. These poor, hapless sufferers can be innocently enjoying their candy floss at a circus or a parade when they are overwhelmed with a feeling of terrible trepidation, which accompanies the onslaught of the oncoming clown. Like a rabbit caught in the headlights, they can only watch with abject fear as the clown slowly waddles through a crowd of terrified children to carefully pick and pounce on his prey.

The Dark Side of the Clown -- Clowns Who Kill

Silent movie star Lon Chaney Sr., nicknamed ‘The Man of a Thousand Faces’, once reportedly said, “There is nothing laughable about a clown in the moonlight.” In the modern age, clowns are more often than not caught in the silhouette of some sinister, otherworldly hue, and a large part of this is due to Stephen King's novel IT and his haunting portrayal of the evilest clown ever to don the grease paint, Pennywise. For those of you who are not aware, Pennywise is the clown in the book whose basic function is to hide in the sewers, trick kids into approaching him, before grabbing them and then eating them. This is terrifying by anyone's standards, and the fact that it is being done by a stupid man in a brightly colored outfit, with a giant red nose, only makes it that much more terrifying. Yet Pennywise, as scary as he is, is the work of fiction. American serial killer John Wayne Gacy was not. Known as the killer clown, Gacy who raped and murdered 33 teenage boys and young men in the 70s, would often dress up as character called ‘Pogo the clown’ for parades and children’s parties. More than any other individual John Wayne Gacy helped to form people’s opinion that you only had to scratch the surface of any merry bumbling clown to find the murderous and monstrous psychopath who lurks beneath.

What Lies Behind the Painted Smile?

Yet is John Wayne Gacy really responsible for coulrophobia and many children’s instinctive and uncontrollable urge to run screaming from the nearest clown? It has been suggested that clowns are too happy and that is why they are so scary. I have to concur that permanently happy people are seriously annoying, but I think it is more to do with the permanent facial expression of a clown, which in my book represents an unstable mind. In short, as fond as we are for them in both a literal and metaphorical sense, people are terrified of masks. In particular the uncaring, unchanging and inhuman aspects of the ‘frozen mask’ and the fixed smile.

What lies behind the painted smile of the clown is anybody’s guess, and when your imagination projects its own darkest fears onto the persona of a clown, then the clown truly becomes the most hellish fiend of all.

The Death of the Clown?

The Kinks once famously sung, “Let’s all Drink to the Death of a Clown,” but love him or loathe him, the clown is here to stay. Perhaps when confronted with the madness of the modern world, painting your face, putting on a wig and pulling on some mismatched, ill-fitting clothes before fixing an idiotic grin and red nose to your face as you waddle like an intoxicated penguin out of the door is the only way to stay truly sane in a world gone really wrong.