Does the UK Really Need a War Mongering Education Secretary?

By Gove! There Will Be Blood!

Hysterical Education Secretary Michael Gove was so furious that his high priest David Cameron was denied his’ rightful’ opportunity to start a war that he slammed the Tory MPs who voted against intervention in Syria as a ‘disgrace’. 

Gove, who has the sort of face which some unkind critics have suggested wouldn’t look out of place in Heinrich Himmler’s gang of merry Nazi psychopaths, was apparently so livid that fellow Tories through the power of democratic process had denied his party the chance to punish violence with violence and launch a missile strike against Syria that he had to be restrained by colleagues. 

Frothing at the mouth like a steroid crazed Rottweiler, Gove apparently started yelling ‘disgrace’, ‘disgrace’ at the MPs who opposed Cameron’s plans to commit the UK to yet further bloodshed and carnage in the Middle East. 

Labour MP Bary Gardiner revealed to the Daily Mail how Gove (by this point seemingly rendered insane and fearsome with all the terrible rage of a frustrated war pig), started snarling at fellow MPs whilst spitting wild allegations that they were “supporters of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.”

Now while Syria, like many countries, has seen its fair share of horrendous humanitarian atrocities it  is of some concern that the UK’s Education Secretary believes the only way to alleviate such suffering is by a display of brute force and subsequent slaughter. 

If things are so black and white in Gove’s world then God help Britain’s education system. The vast majority of the public in the UK are against military action against Syria because they realise instinctively it will only lead to further death and bloodshed without end. 

You don’t have to be an Education Secretary to work that one out. You just have to be a decent human being capable of seeing that childish and excitable displays which suggest deep-rooted anger management issues do not a true statesman make. Diplomacy and the all-consuming need to reach a peace settlement are the qualities which are parliamentary representatives should possess, not the mindless belief that somehow sending troops of to kill and main whilst being killing and maimed at the slightest provocation is a noble thing.  Reckless and bloodthirsty action  achieves nothing but bitterness and hatred and makes the world a more dangerous place for all.  

Gove’s fury that democracy finally won out in the decision to invade or not invade Syria speaks volumes about the man and a large part of the party he represents. Free-will and independence of thought is not a ‘disgrace’ Mr Gove, but tyranny and fascism in whatever form it takes most definitely is.  

Florida Fisherman Tortures Pregnant Shark as Lazy sunbathers Take Pictures

Humans do the funniest things. They also do some of the most sadistic too. 

Take for example the case of ‘Freddy’ the Florida fisherman who thought it would be a right old toot to drag a pregnant Hammerhead shark onto a packed Panama City  beach heaving with gangs of bright orange sun worshippers before proceeding to systematically torture it as the gathered sand zombies take pictures and videos on their smartphones. 

To make matters worse, the poor shark is so traumatized by being forcibly dragged out of natural habitat by a merciless meat-head, she starts thrashing around in the shallow water and gives birth on the water’s edge. 

There’s a video of the aforesaid incident on the Daily Mail website, and even though it’s evident that after ‘Freddy’ the fearless shark slayer has dragged the poor Hammerhead onto the beach, and she’s frantically trying to escape back into the ocean at every opportunity, the newspaper reporter in question actually writes in a damning display of vacuous verbosity,  “Despite repeated attempts to guide the hammerhead back into deeper water, she kept swimming towards the shore.”

No! She doesn’t! Every time she makes an attempt to return to the safety of the ocean, old fearsome ‘Freddy’ drags her back before holding her head in the sand and slinging her pups around like used condoms. 

In a masterful display of diligent reporting the Mail’s news-hound then states in the the second sentence, “Local resident Kathy Hunt, who was watching on the beach, told local station News 13 that the shark seemed to be 'looking for a way out and was thrashing around the closer it got to the shoreline.”

Now isn’t that a contradiction in terms? 

The simple fact is anyone with half a brain (And granted,  long term exposure to the Daily Mail can invoke similar effects to that of a full-frontal lobotomy) would pick up on having once watched the video that the shark is dragged to the beach and kept there against her will. Which is particularly cruel as sharks need to actually move through water to breathe and holding the shark down on the water’s edge is akin to dragging a human beneath the water’s surface and keeping them there. 

It’s no surprise to learn that the shark later died. 

Ain’t life a beach!

Cameron and Glegg Divvy up Dead Nurse’s Savings

If ever you needed a perfect example of the morally bankrupt, nauseatingly underhanded, and shockingly corrupt values which our hollow-eyed and grasping politicians uphold with an impressive vigour and tenacity, then here it is.

When nurse Joan Edwards died she surprisingly bequeathed a sum of money to, “Whichever government is in office... to use as they may think fit."

No doubt, here was a kind-hearted lady who trusted her Government to do the right thing with her money, which incidentally was a whopping £520,000, not bad for a midwife’s wage hey? 

Although somewhat naive to trust any government with her cash, especially one helmed by David tweedledee and Nick tweedledum, the good woman was probably an old-fashioned sort who believed that the ‘great and the noble’  would know how best to maximise the potential of such a large sum of cash for the greater good and help those truly in need. 

After all in an age of soaring unemployment, homelessness, poverty and disease, where communities lie in tatters and hospital and schools are struggling to find the necessary resources just to survive, it’s not if there isn’t a shortage of things that couldn’t benefit from a bob or two is there? 

So after an intense flurry of brainstorming and heated debate, what did the Tories and the Lib Dems decide to do with 90-year-old Joan’s life-savings that she selflessly left to the nation? Why! The millionaire mongrels divvied it up as a party donation, with Glegg’s gang getting £99.423 and the Tories hitting the big time and bagging a lovely £420,576 to spend on their second homes. 

Now repeat after three, “WE’RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER.” 

Oh yes we are!

Dear God! These vile suited and booted cut-throat greed-heads give pond life a bad name.

What’s more the money was divided up according to the number of MPs and ministers of each party. Obviously there’s a lot of fat felines in Westminister today, and no doubt each porky pig wants their slice of the pie. 

Joan’s staggering bequest dwarfs the donations usually given by City financiers and other big money donors to secure themselves an honour and help keep the Tories and the Lib Dems in a state of craven indulgence. But let’s be honest its not as if the MPs are short of the necessary readies to finance the  electioneering mind-control campaign they expose us to every once in a blue moon is it? I mean, take a stroll through the House of Commons and around every corner you’ll bump into yet another multi-millionaire who serves the people by getting incredibly rich on the graft of others. So why wouldn’t these pompous vermin seek to exploit and violate a poor pensioner’s dying wish and make themselves even richer? 

Unfortunately for the coffers of each hard-pressed and impoverished party, criticism from Labour and ‘some’ Tory MPs have seen both parties backtrack quicker than you can say “PR disaster” and they have now returned the money to the Treasury. 

What will become of Joan’s cash now is anyone’s guess? But the word on the streets is that poor old Prince Charles is struggling of late to make ends meet!