The Gory Tories, a High Maintenance Queen and the Lords of Avarice

It’s a taxing situation sir! 

Despite what the third-rate snake oil salesman David Cameron would have you believe, we’re not all in this together. No sir! Most of us are knee-deep in the shit and it’s only a select few who are serving up the sandwiches. 

Anyone who had the grave displeasure of witnessing a contemptuous Cameron pouring all the haughty disdain he learned in the desolate dormitories of Eton over David Dimbleby, when the veteran presenter quite reasonably asked if using ten million of taxpayers was a tad excessive in regard to burying Thatcher, would have realised there and then just what the word ‘democracy’ means to a dog called Dave.

The aggressive Cameron reacted like Dimbleby was attempting to rape God rather than voicing the concerns of the majority of British people, who when struggling to make ends meet see it as a bit rich, or quite a lot rich, that a dead millionaire who viewed privitisation as akin to a religion was given a state funeral at the public’s expense. 

I am the resurrection!

For a British Prime Minister to so vigorously defend the right for Maggie to have a right rare send off whilst flippantly dismissing any counter argument as nothing more than the petty protests of the rabble is not the behaviour of an elected democratic leader, it’s the behavior of an over privelleged elitist toff and tin-pot tyrant who fails to understand the concerns of the ‘ruled.’

There’s no greengrocer’s daughters in today’s cabinet but there’s a lot of millionaires and a lot of hypocritical, pompous and spineless clowns who are having a right old knees up at our expense whilst endlessly pontificating on about how we’re all in it together, but just a casual look around will tell you that isn’t the case at all. 

Putting the gory Tories and their corrupt ways aside, much like a soiled nappy, for one moment. let’s take a little look at a couple of examples that hit the headlines, or rather were buried behind Kim Kardashian and Pippa Middleton’s butt, earlier this year and which succinctly demonstrate that Britain is a country where the gap between the rich and poor has now become an abyss which Cameron and company appear to be doing their level best to preserve. But just you remember plebs, we’re all in this together!

If you’ve got a job can you remember when you last received a pay-rise? The Queen can, she gets one every year but this year was certainly one to remember. Because old ma Windsor has received a £5 million extra in taxpayer’s money to carry our her official duties. 

That’s right, £5 million! Which is a lot of money for any one person to have for nothing, especially in the worst recession in living memory. Remember we live in a time when people are counting every penny and going both cold and hungry as they bury themselves deeper in debt as our superiors attempt to boldly navigate the way out of the double dip by fleecing the peasants and eating all the cake. 

Just look at all those poor people!

This juicy little nugget of information about Her Majesty appeared in the Daily Mail on April 2. There didn’t seem to be a whole lot fuss about the Sovereign Grant as it’s ironically called. And compared with what sort of gloves Justin Bieber is wearing and who is the most fancied in One Direction it probably pales into insignificance, but it’s definitely something which a government that apparently represents the sovereign rule of the people should be questioning with something along the lines of, “Hang on a minute isn’t this taking the piss just a little too much! Even for us blue-blooded Tory half-wits!”

But then again Cameron is a distant cousin of the Queen so perhaps it all makes some kind of crooked sense in a remote corner of the conspiracy theory galaxy.

Talking about conspiracy theories, have you heard the one about the fat cats in the House of Lords feasting on lavish three-course meals to the tune of £60,000 a week in taxpayers money? No! Well maybe you should. 

The Daily Mirror reported on February 2 that the  760 Lords, bishops, baronesses and other blubber merchants who idle their hours way in the ‘Upper House’ feasting, fighting and farting in no particular order, are wining and dining at our expense to a tune of £1.3 million a year. 

The maths have been done and it’s been worked out that each and every one of these aristocratic noblemen are benefiting from an £84 grant each week to fill their faces with truffles, snails, puppy dog tails and perhaps, but it’s highly unlikely, KFC buckets. 

Abandon hope all ye who enter here!

That £84 a week is probably a paltry sum to the excessive amount of multi-millionaires who dwell in the Lords, but it’s worth bearing in mind it’s £13 more than Jobseeker’s Allowance for the unemployed. It’s also a welcome bonus on top of the £300-a-day “subsistence” given to peers each day they attend the ‘upper house’. 

And where most families throughout this green and pleasant land are forced to make every penny count by eating horse meat burgers and drinking nothing but tap water, the good old Mirror also revealed that the Lords have spent a whopping quarter of a million pounds on champagne and vintage wine. Cheers! 

With Dave the rave looking to fill even more benches with loyal Tories who enjoy lording it over the rest of us, the situation is only going to get worse, but not for them, so it doesn’t really matter.

So there you have it folks. Thatcher’s funeral, the Queen’s pay rise and the Lords buffet, just three examples amongst many of where this government is redirecting the money you earn every hour of every day of every month of every year in a job you most probably don’t want to do and one that pays you a pittance in the first place. 

And in case you’re in any doubt as to wether your nose is being well and truly rubbed into the Tory trough here’s an eye-opener for you. Tighten you belts everyone! In 2011, David “I’ve got the stomach to make the necessary cuts” Cameron splashed out £700,000 of taxpayers’ cash to revamp Downing Street. Kind of puts the spare bedroom tax into perspective doesn't it? 

Yet in all of this inequity and inequality the one burning question remains, as posed by the noble truth-seekers over at the Daily Mail - Did Katherine Jenkins go far too low at Baroness Thatcher's funeral? You decide!