St Valentine's Day: The Hidden Truth

For some St Valentine’s Day entails flowers, fun, and frolics, for others it means yet another yearly dose of sickening sentiment and crass commercialization. Yet wether you’re a lover or a hater, there’s no denying that February 14 is a day loaded with significance - and for far more reasons than you probably realise

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History with a Heart 

Traditionally it was Christian martyr St Valentine who sent the first ever Valentine, and in doing so triggered a multi-million dollar industry where pussy-whipped men feel obliged to buy chocolates and flowers to appease their lady loves. The name Valentine derives from ‘Valens’ which translates as worthy, strong, and powerful.

The story goes that after refusing to deny Christ before the Emperor Claudius, Valentine was thrown in jail and beheaded,  but before he was killed, Val, penned a note to his lady love and signed it “your Valentine”. The Roman Romeo’s ‘love’ also happened to be his jailer’s blind daughter and thus she became the first ever lucky lady to receive a Valentine card. 

For the Love of Money

There’s no getting away from it. February 14 is a very lucrative day for florists, confectioners, chemists, jewelers, restaurants and of course, condom manufacturers. But hey! If you can’t express your love for that special person in your life by spending huge amounts of money is there any real romance left in the world?

Try not splashing any cash on that special woman in your life come Valentine’s Day and the furies of hell will truly pale in comparison to her reaction. Yet strangely enough a recent survey revealed that ladies in general only spend half as much money on this special day than us pig-headed and selfish men folk. 

Bizarre Facts About Valentine's Day

Every wondered what profession receives more Valentine cards than any other? Well wonder no more, it’s teachers! Who when it comes to February 14, are in a class of their own. 

Strangely enough over 650 million Valentine cards are also exchanged each year by children between the age of six and ten. 

Statistics reveal that more than nine million pet owners buy gifts for their pets on February 14, which, I think you’ll agree, is slightly disturbing and a sickening case of ‘puppy love’.

Shakespeare’s Juliet may have shuffled off this mortal coil a long time ago, but bizarrely enough the city of Verona in Italy still receives more than 1000 Valentine cards addressed to Romeo’s other half. Well she is dead famous after all. 

When Valentine's Day Goes Wrong! 

Although it doesn’t reveal if they single, married, or in a relationship, a recent study indicated that 15% of women in the United States send flowers to themselves on Valentine’s Day. How sinister! And no doubt they put them in the same water they’ve just finished boiling the bunny in. I think we’re in accord that Valentine’s Day can be a very cruel day on the calendar for hormonal and borderline psychopathic females.